Messy home – Humor

Image
SON: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this
awesome girl!
FATHER : That’s great son. Who is she?
SON : It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter
FATHER : Ohhh! I wish you hadn’t said that. I
have to tell u something son, but you must
promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is
actually your sister.
The boy naturally bummed out, but a couple of
months later
SON: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even
hotter!
FATHER: That’s great son. Who is she?
SON: It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.
FATHER: Ohhhh! I wish you hadn’t said that.
Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and the son was
so mad, he went straight to his mother
SON: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but, I can’t date any of them because
daddy is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately
MOTHER: My love, you can date whoever you
want. Don’t listen to him. He isn’t your father.

 

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Just the truth

Inside of every big girl is a small woman made of chocolate.”

“Shut up Meg.”

“How about some appreciation?!”

“We stand tallest when our knees touch the floor.”

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

“Yeah, I shot a werewolf once. By the time I got there it had turned back into my neighbors dog.” –

“If God had wanted man to play soccer, He wouldn’t have given us arms.” –

“After you get married, that first baby can come at anytime. It’s the second one that takes 9 months.” –

A husband’s letter to his wife

Dear Sharon Darling


I can’t send you my salary this
month because
the global market crisis has affected
my
Company’s performance, so I am
sending
100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart, please
understand
and
adjust with this situation.
Your loving husband, His wife
replied
Hey hubby
Thanks for the 100 kisses.
Below is the list of expenses I paid
with
the
Kisses
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses
for
one
month’s milk.
2. The electricity man, agreed not to
disconnect only after 7 kisses.
3. Your landlord comes every day to
take 2
or
3kisses instead of
the monthly rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not
accept
kisses only,so I gave him other
items, I hope
you
understand.
5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
Please don’t worry about me, I still
have a balance of 35 kisses and I
hope I can
survive
the month using this balance.
Shall I plan the same for the next
month?”

Appreciate her

If you have a good woman at home keep her, appreciate her, and show her how much you love her daily.
Also grab her by the hand and pray with her & her kids (if she has any) Don’t wait till it’s too late to show her how you feel…
Because there are still good men out there waiting to appreciate what you didn’t…
Don’t let pride or your friends ruin your relationship or marriage.
One thing about a woman she never forgets anything & she notices each and every move you make…
“SO BE CAREFUL” of the things you say and the choices you make, because you could regret it in the end.
And ladies if you got a good man that’s trying and weak in certain areas of his life… Be thankful & keep him lifted in prayer because prayer changes things & it will hold you all together.

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A lesson from the Donkey

THE
LESSON FROM A DONKEY!
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down
into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the  farmer tried to
figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the  well needed to be
covered up anyway;
it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come
over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel  dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was  happening and cried
horribly..
Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted  down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally  looked down the
well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the  donkey was doing
something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer’s neighbours continued to
shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the  donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and happily trotted  off!
MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of  dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it  off and take
a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never
giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred –
Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries – Most never  happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from God.
You have two choices…smile and close this  page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson !!
Enjoy Life & Stay Happy